Sunday, December 26, 2004
Thoughts
K, y'all, at the persuasion of a friend, I've decided to post this. They're just some thoughts I've had this past month. Finals explains a little bit, but the rest must be attributed to "*arghness*":
Some days I look at my life and wonder why I can't be like everyone else. Why does it seem like my beliefs are always the ones that are held by the tiniest minorities, if any at all. It would be so much easier to just float down the river. From courtship, to music, to college, I'm so different. It's so hard when I don't even have one friend around that believes the same way I do.
The end of the semester always brings about reflection. The struggles of these past months have already almost been forgotten, but one thing that's stuck in my mind is the feeling of contentment. I'm still wrestling with college stuff, but I really feel like this is where God wants me to be. I look back and realize how much I would've missed if I had gone away. Why do I struggle to trust God when it's so worth doing?! Why all the trials and fears? I can only say that it must be God's way of refining me. He has a lot of work left to do!
I've always wanted an older brother. There are many reasons why, but one very nice reason is the bodyguard factor. Now I have "younger brothers" who could prolly act as pretty good shields, but they're not always around. To my dismay, I've learned that PHC isn't as perfect as I've dreamed. Creeps exist everywhere. :-/ I have guy friends on-campus who aren't the kind to stand around while a girl is being annoyed, but I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having to rely on other guys to always protect me. I don't mind the gentlemanly acts that come once in awhile, but isn't that mainly supposed to be my dad's job? What would I do if I left home? Should I have to rely on the goodness of friends to protect me? These are questions raging in my brain that won't leave me alone! It's a wonder I haven't been sent to a counselor... ;-)
Thank you to my dear friends who have encouraged and strengthened me this past semester!!
Philippians 1:3-4
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Some days I look at my life and wonder why I can't be like everyone else. Why does it seem like my beliefs are always the ones that are held by the tiniest minorities, if any at all. It would be so much easier to just float down the river. From courtship, to music, to college, I'm so different. It's so hard when I don't even have one friend around that believes the same way I do.
The end of the semester always brings about reflection. The struggles of these past months have already almost been forgotten, but one thing that's stuck in my mind is the feeling of contentment. I'm still wrestling with college stuff, but I really feel like this is where God wants me to be. I look back and realize how much I would've missed if I had gone away. Why do I struggle to trust God when it's so worth doing?! Why all the trials and fears? I can only say that it must be God's way of refining me. He has a lot of work left to do!
I've always wanted an older brother. There are many reasons why, but one very nice reason is the bodyguard factor. Now I have "younger brothers" who could prolly act as pretty good shields, but they're not always around. To my dismay, I've learned that PHC isn't as perfect as I've dreamed. Creeps exist everywhere. :-/ I have guy friends on-campus who aren't the kind to stand around while a girl is being annoyed, but I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having to rely on other guys to always protect me. I don't mind the gentlemanly acts that come once in awhile, but isn't that mainly supposed to be my dad's job? What would I do if I left home? Should I have to rely on the goodness of friends to protect me? These are questions raging in my brain that won't leave me alone! It's a wonder I haven't been sent to a counselor... ;-)
Thank you to my dear friends who have encouraged and strengthened me this past semester!!
Philippians 1:3-4
